There are some things in life that I understand and there’s some that are just so confusing!
For example, I know how to bowl a leg break, I realise that you cannot spend more than you earn, I will not grow tired of ‘Love Over Gold’ by Dire Straits, and I understand how good it feels to laugh at Seinfeld.
However, there are some things I just don’t ‘get’, like the pre-occupation with the vacuous lives of celebrities, tweeting, or what it is like to be a 16yo girl.
And it is the gulf between the way my brain works and the thoughts of my daughters’ friends that has caused me some concern lately.
You see, recently my daughter told me that one of her closest friends confessed that she is skipping breakfast and lunch, and forcing herself to vomit after her dinner at night. During the conversation she also told me that many of her friends are behaving in a similar way, and that she feels excluded because she eats her lunch at school.
And then a couple of weeks later, she again came to me and in between sobs she exclaimed, “Why don’t girls love themselves enough to not have sex”! After calming her down, it came out that some of her friends are so desperate for attention from boys that the only way they see they can do this is by having sex with them.
I know many of my daughters’ friends really well – for years they have come around for sleepovers, watched movies together and spent a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom getting ready to go out. They are all great kids; intelligent, brimming with personality, athletic and love laughing with each other.
So what I can’t reconcile is that this group of beautiful young girls can think that it is OK to vomit up their dinner with the aim of being thinner! That it is ‘normal’ and acceptable to gain affection and popularity by engaging in teenage sexual activity!
Where is their sense of self-esteem and self-respect?
Sadly I don’t have the answers.
You try to raise your kids with the strength of character to stick up for what they believe. To say ‘No’ when they are being encouraged to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. To know that when someone is called ‘beautiful’ they should be judged not by their clothes, skin and the shape of their nose, but actually by their personality and quality of their disposition.
But still our delightful young girls sometimes live tormented, complex lives that are bombarded with media images of how they ‘should look’, or are ensnared in the web of social networking sites that allow cruel comments that would never be said face-to-face.
It is really tough being a teenager in Australia at the moment.
When I grew up there was not the same pre-occupation with fashion or looking the ‘right way’ and there was no such thing as the internet or mobile phones.
We can’t blame anyone in particular for this, so what do we do?
I guess the solution might be simple, even though the problem is complex. Set a good example, keep the lines of communication open (and listen a lot more than you talk!!), love them and pray.
My beautiful daughter is an angel and I am a better person for being her Dad.
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This article has been submitted by a father who had attended a Choicez Media parent night at their daughter’s school, he asked to have his identity withheld.
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